Cindy and the girls and I are heading out tomorrow morning for few days of rest and relaxation in far Northern Wisconsin. While the picture shown isn’t the exact location, it’s similar to what I’m picturing in my head – a cabin on a lake surrounded by trees, a pier for lazing and reading, no TV – just the sound of the wind and the loons.
It’s been awhile since we’ve had a ’stay-in-one-place’ vacation, and to be honest, I’m a little apprehensive – how will we fill the time? And how will we be able to tear ourselves away from the computers and the cell phones? (This is going to be especially difficult for my eldest daughter and me.) I am going to bring along my iPod, but I’ve loaded it up with an audiobook of ‘Mere Christianity,’ which I’ve had on my list to read and just haven’t gotten around to it. I also have a few books that I’m actually going to read (and not listen to):
Crazy Love, by Francis Chan – I just started this one, even though it’s been on my nightstand for months. I’ll write a review of it when I get back.
My Bible and my journal – I’m hoping to spend a lot of time in the Word, and writing about what God is telling me through it. Who knows, it may just spur on a whole bunch of ideas for blog topics for when we get back!
So my prayer has been that we’ll just be able to relax and enjoy the time together as a family, and that we can also use this time to get closer to God and His creation. What about you? What do you do to get away and get unplugged?
Last month’s workout routine from Turbulence Training was extremely challenging, and quite frankly, I’m glad it’s over. While it was nearly all bodyweight, which wouldn’t seem that difficult, it is when you’re doing 20 minutes straight with no rest AT ALL in between exercises. That’s why Craig Ballantyne named it the TT Depletion workout, I guess….
For July, Craig’s goal is to reconstruct that which was depleted last month, and hence the name Turbulence Training: Reconstruction. I started the workouts yesterday, and it’s going to be fun – difficult, but fun. Here is Craig’s video of workout A – if you’d like to see videos for the other workouts in the plan, just go to YouTube and look for cbathletics.
Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.
Yes, I know, that’s a really dumb joke, but it holds a lot of truth when you look more closely at it. Let’s say you’ve got a weight loss goal, or a relationship you’re trying to improve, or a bad habit you’re trying to break. And let’s say you’re coming up against a roadblock in reaching the goal – the weight’s just not coming off, you’re still getting into arguments, you still find yourself falling into the same bad habits.
Take a look at the situation, and picture yourself standing twenty feet away, looking at yourself in the situation. Or better yet, ask a close confidant to meet with you and ask you any or all of the following questions:
What is the goal you’re trying to achieve?
What do you feel is blocking your success in this goal?
Why do you think it’s being blocked?
Why do you think these things that are blocking you are there?
What would it take to remove those blocks?
What are YOU doing to contribute to the blocking of your goals?
What are YOU doing to be successful with this goal?
Picture yourself being successful with this goal. What is it you are doing to be successful that you aren’t doing now?
When I ask myself those questions, specifically as it relates to my goals in weight loss, it’s very easy for me to look at the external – ‘well, we had a party over the weekend, and I couldn’t say no to the cake,’ or ‘the gym doesn’t have kettlebells, so I can’t get an intense workout,’ or ‘there isn’t a website out there for tracking calories that’s easy to use.’ All these questions are what the authors of Crucial Conversations would call ‘Sucker’s Choices’ – they are lose/lose statements:
either I stick to my diet and stay away from the cake, or I appear rude;
either I get the right equipment, or I can’t lose weight;
either I waste a lot of time tracking calories, or I remain stuck at my current weight.
It’s sometimes really difficult to recognize when you’re in a Sucker’s Choice situation; however, when you learn to recognize it, and then learn the subsequent skill of turning that ‘or’ statement into an ‘and’ statement, you’ll really begin to make progress toward reaching your goals:
How do I stick to my diet, and at the same time not offend my host?;
How do I create a workout with the equipment at hand, and still be able to meet my weight loss goals?
How do I effectively track my calorie intake, and not waste a lot of time doing so?
I’m not saying that you’ll automagically find the answers by asking the questions in this way, but you’ll go a long way toward putting your mind in the right framework to getting the answers.
So back to the original questions that you asked yourself (or had a friend ask you). Did the answers to those questions focus mainly on external things that are harder to control, or did they focus on your own circumstances, your own behaviors, your own actions? If they were more of the latter rather than the former, then you’re in the correct mindset to make changes. If they are more focused on the external circumstances, you’re going to have more chance for frustration, because you’re focusing on things that are out of your control. The Bible speaks of indirectly of this in Matthew 7:5 -
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Here the Bible is speaking of looking at your own sins and examining your own heart before judging someone else’s. However, I think there is a parallel here – we as humans have a tendency not to self-assess, but instead focus on the sins of others, the outside circumstances, the things that are being done to us. This verse is a warning to be wary of that, and to make sure we’re examining our own heart and motives when we encounter challenges.
I know you’re probably pretty sick of Michael Jackson songs by now, but I just have to share this one with you, as it’s one of my favorites and very applicable to today’s topic. If we want to make a change and make a difference in the world, we first need to look at ourselves, and see what needs to be changed there.
Ooh ooh ooh aah
Gotta make a change
For once in my life
It’s gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right
As I turned up the collar on
A favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin’ my mind
I see the kids in the street
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind
Pretending not to see their needs
A summer’s disregard
A broken bottle top
And a one man’s soul
They follow each other
On the wind ya’ know
‘Cause they got nowhere to go
That’s why I want you to know
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho
I’ve been a victim of
A selfish kinda love
It’s time that I realize
There are some with no home
Not a nickel to loan
Could it be really pretending that they’re not alone
A willow deeply scarred
Somebody’s broken heart
And a washed out dream
(Washed out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya’ see
‘Cause they got no place to be
That’s why I’m starting with me
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that change
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
(Man in the mirror, oh yeah)
I’m asking him to change his ways, yeah
(Change)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change
You gotta get it right, while you got the time
‘Cause when you close your heart
(You can’t close your, your mind)
Then you close your mind
Summer is finally here in Chicago! When you need a break from the week, come in and take a look at some of the articles I’ve starred this week in Google Reader:
7 Basic Knots Every Man Should Know – I watched a couple of these videos, and realized that if every man should know them, I need to get to work on them myself.
Lunchtime Quiz: Airport Codes – I only scored 50% on this one. Maybe I’ll have to start traveling more. Try it out and let me know how YOU do.
Take the Marine Corps Fitness Test – Even though I’m in much better shape than I was even a year ago, I’m definitely not Marines material, based on the results of this test. I’ll really need to keep working on my pullups…
Once or twice a year, my wife and girls head over to Indiana to visit friends, and I stay behind to work and then join them a day or two later via train. While I miss my girls when they’re gone, I think that every man I know has a regular need for solitude – to be alone just with his own thoughts for an extended period of time – to relax, recharge, not watch Disney Channel, turn up classic rock really loud, or just turn all the electronic devices off and sit in silence.
I did a combination of those things yesterday -
got home, mowed the lawn (I still had a short honey-do list, which I knocked out fairly quickly)
ate dinner with the music on LOUD.
talked to my wife on the phone, then brewed some decaf for iced coffee (I’ll use this recipe next time)
turned off all the music, and read through several passages of Scripture, looking for references to setting goals (I’ll blog some about that in the next couple of weeks)
Once it was nearly dark, took the laptop outside and sat on a completely dark patio with my iced coffee to write yesterday’s article, with just the glow of the laptop screen and the fireflies providing ambient light.
I woke up the next morning appreciating the time alone, but also looking forward to the weekend when I’d see my girls (wife and daughters) again. It doesn’t sound very glamorous, and it wasn’t, but it was completely refreshing. I know of men who take a weekend, or even a full week, to retreat. That’s probably a little bit too much time for me, but I’ll take these little mini-retreats at home every so often.
Why does it seem that deaths of famous people always come in threes? This week a trio of well-known celebrities passed away – Ed McMahon, beloved sidekick of Johnny Carson for so many years; Farrah Fawcett, late 1970s pin-up girl and Angel; and Michael Jackson, the world-famous ‘king of pop’ and inventor of the moonwalk (which I could never, sadly, quite figure out how to do, even with many hundred attempts in front of a mirror).
Yes, it’s true, these deaths all cause sadness of some degree or another. There are those, like spouses, children, and close friends, for whom their passing will make a huge impact. For others, their deaths make great news – it gives them an excuse to compile retrospectives of careers, to talk about past scandals and mistakes, and to generally create stories to boost ratings. (Case in point – I actually heard someone interview an acquaintance of Michael Jackson today who said something like ‘I talked to him about three months ago, and he seemed fine…)
I think some people are so fascinated with celebrity deaths because somehow, deep down, they may think that rich and famous people should have figured out some way to beat death. In some cases, they seem genuinely surprised that someone who is rich and famous actually succumbed to their physical ailments, like they must somehow be beyond the fragility of life that the rest of us are subject to.
Then there are others of us who look at physical death as the great equalizer. I look to the Bible to understand this:
1st Corinthians 5:22a – For as in Adam alldie….
Romans 5:12 – Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned…
Romans 6:23a – For the wages of sin is death…
No one can escape death, at least of our physical bodies. God has designed us in such a way that our physical bodies age, become fragile, broken, and eventually fail us – that’s a side effect of sin, and our broken relationship with God. There is only one Person for whom this rule did not apply, and that person is Jesus Christ. God allowed His Son Jesus to suffer a horrible physical death, a death by crucifixion, in order to take on the sins of the world. But Jesus was not subject to the regular physical laws of this world; because He was also fully God, he was able to break the bonds of death through his resurrection:
Romans 6:9 – For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him.
For those of us who put our trust in Christ, this is a great reassurance. Yes, our physical bodies may pass away, but we will be given new spiritual bodies that can never die, and will be in worship of God forever, because Christ has taken that which separated us from God, our sin, and defeated it through his resurrection.
And it’s something we really shouldn’t keep to ourselves! If people are mourning the loss of their loved ones, or some celebrity whom they held in high regard, now may be the time to remind them about the difference between physical and spiritual death, and help point them to Him who has defeated both!
If you’d like some help explaining what this looks like, you should really take a look at the website ‘Two Ways to Live’ – it will give you a simple explanation of what Christ did for us, and what a relationship with Him really means.
@ pool 4 my daughter's last swimming lesson. Lots of young parents watching their kids jump off the diving board for 1st time. I feel old.
about 20 hours ago
from txt
Cindy and the girls and I are heading out tomorrow morning for few days of rest and relaxation in far Northern Wisconsin. While the picture shown isn’t the exact location, it’s similar to what I’m picturing in my head – a cabin on a lake surrounded by trees, a pier for lazing and reading, no TV – just the sound of the wind and the loons., by Francis Chan – I just started this one, even though it’s been on my nightstand for months. I’ll write a review of it when I get back.
and The Purgatorio
, Dante Alighieri - I try to read at least one of The Divine Comedy (The Inferno, The Purgatorio, and The Paradiso)
each summer. While I don’t agree with some of the theological ideas, the pictures that he paints are simply incredible, and the concepts he shares really cause me to think.
would call ‘Sucker’s Choices’ – they are lose/lose statements:
